Guest post by comedian Andrew Orvedahl.
Long ago, when I was on my way to North Carolina to do a comedy show, I ‘missed’ a flight. Or rather, it was given away without my knowledge.
I arrived at the airport about an hour before the scheduled departure, and when I checked in at the kiosk I got a ‘security document’ that got me through airport security and told me to check in at the gate. Of course, when I got to the gate, the agent informed me that I was too late, and they had given my seat away. Yes, I had already paid for the ticket, and yes, here I was at the gate with the doors still open, but I was too late and they had given my seat away. When I protested she told me I could just be on standby for any next available flight. And because I am a naïve idiot, I agreed.
What I then discovered is that to be on standby after missing a flight is to be a scabrous leper, begging from gate to gate. “Please, I just need to get to Raleigh by tonight,” I would plead, while other travelers would look at their shoes, and gate agents would hand me off on endless goose chases. I finally did get on a plane, eight hours later, and missed my performance that evening. But I learned a valuable lesson that day: never miss your flight. So here are some of my tips for ensuring that never happens.
Always, always, always check into your flight early.
These days it’s common knowledge that airlines oversell their flights. The best way to ensure you don’t fall prey to losing your seat is to claim it before you ever get to the airport. As soon as you can check-in (generally 24 hours prior to departure), do it! That way even if circumstances get you to the airport late, you have claimed your seat.
Don’t be late.
Sure, sometimes there are unforeseen circumstances that impede your travel, but let’s be honest, you put off packing until the morning of your trip. Give yourself more than enough time to get to the airport, because it’s a lot nicer to sit reading at the gate than it is to sprint through crowds of people while wearing a heavy backpack, like some sadistic cross-fit exercise.
Don’t give up.
I’ve had several experiences when I was running late, and my fellow travelers wanted to just give up and take the next flight. If you followed tip #1, never give up! You’ve claimed your seat, you only have to get to the gate before they close that door. Since checking in early, I’ve never missed a flight. I’m no longer a naïve idiot. Just a regular old idiot.
